Taken From Latest Podcast
Does the feeling of responsibility cause you anxiety?
What are you supposed to be responsible for in this life?
00:25 Welcome to “breaking free of emotional bondage”. I’m your host Gaylen Beardsley. I have an earned degree in philosophy and religion and I am a certified emotional therapist. Today’s podcast is on what I call “your responsibility in life” and it’s the first of a series I’m doing on the subject of anxiety, the different classification or types of anxiety and the symptoms of each type. During this series, I will also be presenting the concept of becoming healed from anxiety disorders, thereby getting rid of the difficulties that they present to you during your daily life. Now, the first three episodes will be the presentation of what I believe to be very significant facts that govern our lives and actions as human beings. As a matter of fact, the author of these three concepts, Dr. Alexander Lloyd actually calls them “the secret spiritual laws of nature”. Dr. Lloyd has a PhD and MD and along doctor Ben Johnson, who is also an MD , has authored a very important book that I recommend called, “The Healing Code, six minutes to heal the source of your health, success, or relationship issues”.
01:47 Now, the healing code is one of the three methods of therapy I use in my own emotional therapy practice. Well enough introduction.
01:56 The following words are a direct quote from doctor Lloyd’s own pen on the secret spiritual laws of nature. He begins with this introduction.
02:11 FROM DR. ALEX LOYD
02:12 “I began to develop these secret spiritual laws of nature when I first started my private practice in counseling and therapy. In a very short period of time, I had a six month waiting list and I give the great majority of the credit for that to These secret, spiritual laws of nature. They can create an instant “Aha” that changes a person’s perspective and attitude and because of that, a lot of other things that people are working on will also change. I mainly realize these through prayer and I consider them a gift.”
02:49 He titles this one, you were never supposed to be responsible.
02:53 “What we’ve come to mean by the word responsible is the ability to insure a certain result. That’s a lot of responsibility. But the word responsible originally meant the ability to respond and there’s a big difference between the two. During the last year or more, I’ve talked to so many people, wealthy people, middle class people, lower income people who are very scared.
03:23 And I insert here that this is during a time that we have sort of an depression in the economy. He goes on to say
03:31 They are caught in hand wringing anxiety and worry and fear and even panic. I know it’s scary and it’s not changing fast enough. Dr. Lloyd goes on to say, when I am talking to people who are anxious about the future, I might ask them questions like, do you and your family still have a warm place to sleep at night?
03:58 And they say, Oh, well yes. And then are you still eating three meals a day, even if it’s not steak or eating out every day? Do you still have food for yourself and your family? Well, the answer, yes we do. What I see in almost every scenario is that for the great majority of people, there has not been any great catastrophe that has affected their basic needs in life. What has happened is almost entirely fear of the future. Over many years, the word responsible has come to mean the onerous burden to ensure some future result. We believe that if we are responsible for something, we can ensure the outcome, but one of the secret spiritual laws of nature is that we were never supposed to be responsible in that way. We are supposed to be able to respond. When an event happens, you are able to respond appropriately.
05:00 This doesn’t necessarily mean that you are able to respond in a way that ensures some specific result. Here’s where we get into trouble with this. In order to be responsible in the way we’ve come to use that word, it means we have to have power. If you give me responsibility for something without the power to do it, that would be unreasonable at the very least and maybe cruel. Alex, you have to be responsible for this, but I am not going to give you the power to make it happen to ensure the result that you are responsible for. It would be wrong to hold me responsible for that result. The reason you weren’t meant to be responsible is that the power to bring about a result, is usually an illusion. You do not have the power to ensure most future results. Do you want proof of that with your next breath? You could die of a heart attack or you could be struck by a car tomorrow.
06:06 He continues. As for finances, we could have an economic collapse that makes what is happening now look like Boardwalk or Park Place. There could be some global crisis that is just catastrophic on a personal level. Your Business Associates or friends or family could make choices that hurt you deeply. I could talk almost about every area of your life that you feel responsibility for and we would see that ultimately you did not have the power to guarantee a specific outcome. Something could happen that would make it impossible for you to ensure those future results. As for worrying about the future, most of those things that we feel a heavy responsibility for preventing or avoiding are things that are never going to happen in the first place. A couple of friends who are upset about the financial future, I’ve asked, is your retirement 20 years from now?
07:05 The thing you are so upset about right now that you can hardly function, you can’t sleep. Your blood pressure has gone up over this or that. We’ve had 19 recessions in the last 80 years where financial crisis happened and then things recovered. Who knows whether this same will be the same or not, but when we’ve talked it through, they’ve been able to say something like, well, that doesn’t make sense, does it that I’m so upset right now over something that most likely won’t happen and I really can see that I survive. If it did happen, we all assume responsibility for things. That one, we do not have the power to act on or effect and two would probably not be as horrible as we imagine if they did come to pass. As long as we have food to eat, a place to sleep and people that we love around us, life can remain pretty good.
08:05 What you are meant to be responsible for is being able to respond to simply act in the present moment on what you have the power to do yourself. You are not to take responsibility meaning ensuring results for anything that is not within your power. Is it within your power to go through your daily routine short of having a heart attack? Yes. Is it within your power to plan the next steps you need to take at home and at work tomorrow and next week and next month? Yes. You can plan the next step that personally are able to take in any area of your life, but you have the power to determine how the government and your business associates and family will act as they make their own decisions. Absolutely not. There are a million different factors that can affect the weather and the economy and the people in your mind don’t take responsibility for what is beyond your power.
09:09 You’re not supposed to take responsibility for it. You’re supposed to do the best you can. Each moment acting with reason and integrity on what you have the power to do. You have to let go of everything else and when you do let go, you will have peace. Something bad may happen to you. Something great may happen tomorrow, but you are not to bear the responsibility of anything that you don’t have the power to ensure you would not put that burden on your children, but most people do it to themselves or other adults that has put people in a chronic state of anxiety, worry, stress, and sometimes panic. They are assuming responsibility for something that is not within their power. Your responsibility is to act in the present moment on what you have the power to respond to now and leave the results for tomorrow or next year or 20 years from now up to God.
10:17 The people I know who live this way live in peace. They always have what they need and usually a lot more they enjoy their lives. Things might happen to you that are scary. They happened to me too, but push that reset button and say, I’m in fear. I’m not supposed to live in fear. It means I’m assuming responsibility for something beyond my ability to respond. Let me get back on track and focused on the people who are in my life today, not on what may or may not happen tomorrow or 20 years from now. We never have any guarantees of those things anyway. Be responsible by being able to respond. when and, if things happen. This should be great news to you. You were never supposed to be responsible for all those things that you do not have the power to act on. Let those go. Give them up. Just focus on those things in the present moment that are important to you and trust yourself to be able to respond as each event happens in your life.”
Dr. Alexander Lloyd, the Healing Code.
11:34 Listen, I want to ask you a question. What do you feel you are a responsible for during your everyday life, and do those feelings of responsibility cause you anxiety. I am asking you to please write and tell me what kind of responsibilities make you anxious, or you can send your questions or comments to firstname.lastname@example.org. That’s email@example.com. I’d love to hear from you.
12:07 Well that’s all for today. I want to invite you to like this podcast episode and subscribe to our future programs on breaking free of emotional bondage. You can do that here where you heard this program or you can go visit my web page at www.Beemotionallyfree.com where you can find a transcript of this program as well as the other podcasts I have produced and more information on becoming free from anxiety and other types of emotional bondage. So until next time, I want to remind you that you can be free from emotional bondage.